Updated: Feb 23, 2020
I would like to think that I'm all about self-growth. I mean, c'mon I'm a therapist. I should want to grow right?! To be honest, most of the times, yes, I do want to grow, but sometimes, the prompt from the universe to grow can come unexpectedly like tripping over an uneven sidewalk. F*ck! Where the heck did that come from? Self-growth isn't always so perfectly packaged with a learning objective and easy to follow instructions on how to get from point A (where I'm at which, by the way, may be a hot hot mess) to point B (floating on a cloud of "I don't give sh*t who likes me or who doesn't because I'm actually perfect exactly how I am!"). So what does the work look like in getting from point A to point B?
The truth, is that self-growth comes easier when you can honor each step of the journey and accept the different parts of you that are revealed along the way. Oftentimes, when we are growing, parts of us that have been splintered off begin to bid for our attention because they want be accepted, loved and included in the next most evolved expression of our spirit. During these pivotal times, we are more sensitive to things that happen around us because we are on the cusp of transcending to a higher level of being.
This experience can feel scary because you've never been here before - it's all new. You may experience resistance (errrr.....pump the brakes) and go back to what's comfortable and familiar. You may even jump too far ahead before you're ready and everything in between. This completely normal push pull process happens because a part of you is dying to make room for your higher self to come online and kick butt in the world. Out of fear, the ego may sabotage self-growth in minor or major ways to slow down the growth process.
So what does self-growth feel like? What I've learned from growth transitions is that all feelings you experience during these times including fear, excitement, longing/loss, irritability, vulnerability and others are normal. This process can be messy, unpredictable and uncomfortable. Your job is to stay still and notice urges tempting you to react from fear.
No step is wrong. Steps you perceive as "wrong" are useful for you to notice the difference between these and steps that flow easier. When the next step is in alignment with your soul, there isn't any thinking involved - you just know it's the next step. When it's time to make a move, you will know it because it will feel right not rushed.
There are things you can control and things you can't. During growth periods, one thing you can choose to notice and work on when you feel powerless, is the quality of the relationship you have with yourself. How kind are you to you? What stories do you tell yourself? This energy, whatever the nature of it is, ripples out to how you show up in the world and how you treat others.
Eventually, the ego stops resisting growth and surrenders. This is when things really take off! For a more step by step breakdown of what self-growth can look like, check out my blog on How to Live your Truth.
Self growth happens when it's needed or when you are ready and looking for it. You can choose to level up or leveling up is needed because the cost of functioning based on your current life map is too great. Be gentle with yourself, be patient and be still - all the different pieces that don't seem to fit anywhere or make sense right now do eventually come together to create your life's uniquely beautiful mosaic.